Counting Days...and Making Days Count!

I don't know when it happened but for some time following my cancer diagnosis I began adding a count to the days and in posting here included that count.    It seems some time ago I have stopped counting my days that followed diagnosis, but believe now I am more focused on making those days count.   I'm living and embracing EVERY day rather than counting each day that I live beyond the diagnosis.

Just a realization I had while here in the quiet of the evening.   Making the days count makes much more sense!   Imagine the impact on ones thoughts should my time actually come to an end and I will have left a 'number' representing the number of days lived since the diagnosis.   That would be horrible.     No longer counting each day that I live; past diagnosis, but making each day that I live, COUNT!   :)

Silence is golden, talking is nerve-wracking...one week of ASL

While away at an ASL Immersion Camp not so very long ago, I faced the challenge of using sign to communicate as opposed to verbal communication.    Now, if you know me you immediately realize the obvious challenge at hand, but it was much more difficult than obviously presumed!

During mealtimes there were writing tablets and pens placed every few feet upon the dining tables.  These tablets were most helpful in picking up communication via written communique, where signing skills left much to be desired or there is a lack of understanding in a mealtime conversation.  While one could also finger spell, that didn't always make for the most fluid continuity in a conversation.

Once we as campers got the hang of signing for the most part but also simply jotting down the misunderstood, it became nerve-wracking at times when you found yourself or someone close in proximity to you actually speaking aloud!   *GASP*s  followed by "Shhhh" in the moment a vocal utterance was released!    I myself felt in fear of "being caught" whether it was actually me or the person I might be in conversation with!    Imagine ME afraid of Talking!!! It struck me as both funny and incredibly WoW, that this experience could have that kind of impact.

"Vocies Off" a rule taken seriously at camp; by most,   to aid in the success as prospective scholars of ASL , in respect of the learning environment and respect for our instructors of the Deaf Community and Culture.  They were all very understanding when perhaps voices "On" happened and I commend them for their incredible amount of patience.   Somehow in my head perhaps I held a vision of having my knuckles rapped for using my voice!    For me silence was indeed golden and while hard to believe YES, talking became a nerve-wracking condition to work at controlling!  

Ch-ch-ch Changes....because that's just the way LIFE rolls!

Of recent, of lately, of previously...holy busy, crazy times!    I will come back to post more but just here to say what wild times we've been having.

Last weekend I was very happy to provide face painting for a local fundraiser for a family going through a most difficult time and it was amazing to see and hear of the amount of generosity and caring shown by our community in answering the call to gather in support of this family.

Our son and his roommates had an apartment fire and ever so grateful each of them was fine and as our son commented, people were quick to come to their aide and were most helpful in assuring they had anything they needed at this unsettling time.   He as are we,  grateful to know of such kindness in our community and again and again that is proven and this time for he and his roommates to be first hand witness to.

I had a recent breast biopsy and thankfully can report all came back normal.   The biopsy much like the mammograms undertaken prior to this was more uncomfortable than painful and the markings left behind similar to a small target image.  The tech/nurses and the doctor doing the procedure were all so wonderful and very caring in their approach.   Afterward one is left to rest for about a half hour and that can leave you with so many many thoughts drifting into your mind.   Scary times again but now so grateful for a non-threatening outcome as well as the care I received from those in Women's Health!

A week away to be immersed in American Sign Language brought joy, in remembering more ASL, realizing what I already know`, meeting so many wonderful people, very inspirational camp surroundings  and then too disheartening feelings in realizing how much conversational ASL has slipped from my memory.  For the first time since I was very young I experienced some measure of being homesick.   The experience was amazing, eye opening and I am again so grateful to have been a part of it and there will more about my week at camp soon.

My parents recently sold their home; within a week of being posted, and have settled into a new apartment.   It's quite lovely and one knows there are many memories to be made yet and such a lovely view from their balcony, but one also can't deny the pang felt driving past their former street where their lovely home was and so many memories made and shared.   It's odd the way these changes in life play on your mind and tug at your heart!

Oh so many changes, realizations tucked within each of these events in life and we have to know enough to embrace what was, accept what is and find positives in the changes at hand and know we WILL be fine.   You can't help sometimes to look at these things as part of what is somehow meant to be , at the very least seeking whatever positive may be found in it all even if very small.  Try to remind yourself with change there is always learning, growth and perhaps forces us to rethink, reimagine, remind ourselves, we're still here we still get a chance to make the day count and if we're lucky the day after, the year after!    Change is inevitable and you just have to make up your mind that does not CHANGE everything!