Tuesday, November 7, 2017

Bibbity, Bobbity, Boobs please!

Apparently my Fairy Godmother never appeared, no bibbity bobbity here, never to grant those wishes I may have lust for in my youth, and perhaps a blessing in not getting what I wanted but not so certain I got what I needed.
As if the pains of starting high school, teenage, and adolescence weren't enough, I quickly realized I was a late bloomer, it was horrific!   Yep, when everyone else seemed to be growing upwards and outwards, I was not and longed for just that with great desperation.  One thing I was happy for were my cute little feet, I liked my feet and they were "normal" looking.

Today, so much different...I am quite content now with what I was eventually endowed with for breasts and scoff at the thought of my immature desire for more.   My feet, well, another part of me that decided to grow late in my growth, when I would have been quite content for them to stay just as they were!    Those once cute little feet are now an 8 to 8 1/2, sometimes 9 and sport some interestingly unwanted changes these past few years that no longer allow me to view them as cute.  My feet; to me, seem more sassquatch in nature and certainly not anything I or anyone would be fawning over.

Had there been a visit from a Fairy Godmother, she obviously tried to teach me a lesson in what warrants wishing for and maybe a little bit of appreciate what you have...or had, or else!

Friday, September 29, 2017

Hmmm, Become a Comic Book Hero or Learn How to Dress?

The weather is changing again...the temps outside have been up and
down of lately and of one extreme to another.
Speaking of weather systems, holy crow, my internal body is a natural disaster!!      In a flash, no seriously a FLASH, I feel nauseous , too slick to touch, a fear of spontaneous combustion  and greatly panicked like that of someone caught in a fire and wondering where the closest exit is!   Move over Flash Gordon, I may very well steal your title, THE FLASH!!   Yes, I too could be a comic book hero.

Being a comic book hero may not suit everyone, so perhaps someone should create a course for those crossing the threshold into menopause...HEY over HERE, that's ME...I'll sign up!    A course that teaches us exactly how to dress for this new, very special "condition"  we have come to, yes, 101 How to Dress For Menopause in Any Season.    I am torn between continuing to wear summer attire...BENEATH, warm fall sweaters and full length pants; well prepared for a stripping down in dire need.    Perhpas an all cotton linen wardrobe, or join a nudist colony somewhere and only dress at all when travelling off grounds!   Getting dressed can induce great fear in simply having no clue which season to dress for, despite the obvious season presently at hand outside.  Oh the challenges one faces with weather and how to weather menopause and all of it's intriguing effects!

I'm a mess at times but with continued patience and  learning, I will achieve a wearable wardrobe again or become a comic book hero, or a nudist.    I am a survivor and this is the small stuff so I won't sweat it.   Well, yes I will ...a lot.     ;)



Thursday, September 21, 2017

...Not Quite so Nearly Naked.


So there I was seeking out a washroom, while strolling short corridors within' the diagnostic imaging department in a fabulously fashionable gown...actually two.   Two gowns.   How wonderful of someone to have finally decided it is not terribly dignifying to wonder about, whilst ones buttocks with their sideways smile, make an unannounced appearance directly behind you, ahead of everyone else.  
Being asked; by random people in a meeting, "Are you looking for your clothes?", made me considerably grateful I was clothed in some degree at that very moment.
Someone was clever enough to initiate the "first gown goes front facing and second gown rear facing" ensemble which gives one the extra layer of security in feeling not quite so nearly naked.
My clothes safely kept in a nearby change cubicle and I, safely kept in two gowns.

Tuesday, September 5, 2017

The Season made me do it...again!




Saturday morning, showering, changing the towels; retrieved from the linen closet, in the hall, I realize something is happening.    I realize it as soon as I go to closet, then open the door. It begins.
The report to authorities reads like, "I didn't know I was going to do it, it just happened!", I explain and then, "Honestly I have no idea what came over me!".
Clearly the last part of the statement is a lie.    It's a lie, because I know after sooooo many years of seasons arriving and departing, this is not an uncommon occurrence.

Almost officially Autumn and despite being very weary and with soooo many things gnawing at my thoughts, it happens, whether I  really WANT to or not, a rage of epic cleaning proportions occurs. An inner clock of sorts, ringing like there's no tomorrow and it won't stop until I pay it mind, like an unspoken duty only I (suddenly) am made aware of internally.  
Hubby is like, "Had you planned to do this, this morning?".
I reply, "No, no....", feeling on the verge of tears.    I had not planned this.   Like an illness suddenly having taken over my being, by every inch, I am fully involved.   Lost to an unexpected event.   It's like the weather event, the weather forecast didn't actually forecast, it just happened.   It's a love/hate relationship with the change of season.    My body like someone taken over by demonic powers, gives itself over to the deed.
In the end, somehow all is wonderfully zen as I look upon the results of this unplanned takeover.

Once again, the season's change made me do it, but oddly, I'm into it!   Viva la season!!!!

Wednesday, August 23, 2017

Tying One On.

Since February visions of summer and what it "might be" began to 'dash away'.   The earliest hint of a possible change showing itself before Christmas.

Well, it's nearly summer's end and two months post surgery for my Hubby.   Of course there are a few long term side affects; while not permanent, which he struggles with but he's a trooper and working hard to push past all of that and carry on.

Hubby was diagnosed in February with prostate cancer, following 3 PSA tests and a biopsy.  An especially scary time for him looking ahead, but as well for myself like a recurring nightmare.   The timeline, far too familiar and those words "...well, unfortunately'...",  weighed so heavily upon us both.  Not at all what we had expected; but never what you expect to hear at any rate.

In part of his personal healing process Hubby had his first tattoo!    He has never indicated before that he would like one, but not long after his surgery and beginning to reflect on the experience he announced to me he was going to get a tattoo honouring his victory in the battle!   He sports the two tone blue necktie for Prostate Cancer Canada on his arm and I must say, I find it rather sexy!   His tattoo is a reminder of his strength even when he felt his weakest.  I appreciate how proud he feels in coming through this experience and isn't afraid to talk about it with others, which in turn may just help someone else.    I'm happy to have been his support and caregiver after he was most certainly my biggest support through my own experience; sometimes literally the shoulder I cried on.

And now, we raise a glass to moving forward, healing in our own way, living life, and making more plans, we say BRING IT, we'll take it on!

* As a footnote, Tattoo's are one's personal expression on a canvas that is their own.  For my Husband it means a great deal to have added this design to his person.    His first tattoo and it carries much pride in winning at his fight against cancer!

Sunday, July 30, 2017

Sometimes you just gotta!




Speaking of shoes and the next thing, someone named Chuck Taylor is suddenly part of the conversation and I think,  "Who's Chuck?"!

Early spring of this year my daughter and I were having a much overdue day together and as well as just making the most of the drive itself decided to drop in on the lovely Bobcageon, the small but very picturesque setting with some lovely shops for the discerning shopper!   I love Bobcageon for it's little locks and all of the lovely boats coming and going and how the lock is nestled right in the midst of the shops.

On making note of the shops there I mention the shoe shop and how I think one day I might consider buying a pair of hightop shoes, just because I think it would be "cool", you know just for kicks!
"Well then you should, today!", my daughter resounds.    Of course I tell her it's just a silly thought, that I would just do it for fun!

We go through the first couple of shops and one leasds right into another.    Turning the corner, my daughter says, "There's what you are looking for, Chuck's!".

"Who?", I say and she reiterates "Chuck's, Chuck Taylors, ...Converse"!   I get it, Converse shoes are Chuck Taylor's shoes.    The light just went on, o.k., gotcha!

I simply wasn't planning on such a purchase today, not something so bright, kid-like, impractical, silly... FUN!   I ponder out loud, "what would I wear them with, where would I wear them?".    At first it's just my daughter and I discussing my every thought and her telling me why I should get them, then the sales staff returns and she joins in as well.   Back and forth we go with them telling me why I should go ahead and just DO IT!   My daughter is quite prepared to buy them for me if I don't make the purchase.    I have a pair of distressed denims I created that will be just the perfect pairing with these ...LOL, putting together an "alternative" outfit!  I might be able to do this!

I imagine the revisiting of this moment many times over should I not make the purchase today.    I then also imagine revisiting this moment throughout the years ahead and how much fun it was in picking the bright red shoes, instead of the practical, non-funky feeling black shoe and in being reminded of the road trip there and back.   I love the chance to 'step out of my norm' and play big!

I don't normally Chuck, but when I do I feel rather "cool" and am reminded life is short, so sometimes Chuck's over a practical loafer are just the ticket!   :)



Wednesday, July 19, 2017

...This Holiday Stinks..."...And behind curtain no. #1!" !

Sometimes you VACATION sometimes you STAYCATION, this year is more of the latter.    We'll take a day here and there or an overnight once or twice, but overall this summer is more a staycation.

All in all and everything aside; EVERYTHING, we're trying to be really thankful.

Before the summer had begun, actually last fall it, was mentioned our Septic Tank needed to be replaced, at least by the summer.   I followed that with a, "Whaaaaaat?", and then, "No, no, no, that can't be?"!   It just seems to be a theme of sorts this year!
My husband replied, "I know, it's shitty isn't it?".  
I'm thinking, well, YES, it is shitty and that's without even thinking about the fact it's shitty punny!
The whole notion this is how things are going really stinks.   I know, another punny knowing the context...or content!

Of course the  #$@&%*! was the first thing that came to my mind and may have slipped across my lips and into the atmosphere, but then I settled with the reality that that, is just the way it is.  

So the day comes round and the old tank is emptied; with very little stench in the air,  and over the course of the day the new one installed.   With it all unfolding before us and our visiting family, it all makes for an "exciting" day of sorts; yes of sorts.    The goings on makes our home the centre of interest on our street!   OK, there are only two homes on our street and this particular week we'd provided all of the interest.   One day prior we had a moving truck in our driveway as our son and his partner prepared to head off to new adventures.

I have to give the workers on the job credit as in between each load of dirt taken away they have to wait for the truck to return to proceed, just adding to the shitiness of the days work.  You know, sitting around doing nothing and not being able to stop yourself from thinking there is anything you would rather be doing!   A long day.

At the end of it all, despite the disruption to our yard, home, LOL...toileting practices, and yes, vacation plans coming to fruition, it's now done and we have a shiny new, empty(ish) tank installed and a new canvas of fresh disruptedness to play with!    OH, and that first flush....excitement and excited relief, it all works!    HAPPY  STAYCATION!

 THE BIG REVEAL!

Aaaaaand, ....












OH t's a Brand New Septic Tank!!!!!










Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, WOW...and I thought this would be so shitty!!!!!




Monday, July 17, 2017

It happens....life.

I see by my last post that it's been QUITE some time since my last post!    Honestly I hadn't thought it to be THAT long ago!   If you should happen to follow my here in any degree and by chance had wondered when I might post again, I do apologize for the wait.   It certainly isn't for lack of blog fodder, quite the opposite and I suppose living through life experiences and being caught up in the moments passing, not hiding out, just finding oneself too busy to write about them.   It may be that I was simply too lazy...sadly, a little bit of that so true.

Along the daily path of this life I can't begin to count how many times either quietly in my own mind or loudly I announce, "That's blog worthy right there!",  I have had pause to realize there is much to blog about on most days.    I've had some wonderful days since that last addition, wonderful experiences, but also some not so wonderful experiences nor such counted as wonderful days.    I often say to myself, "...but that's life!", realizing life is an ongoing tour of hills n' valley's, great days and not so great days and I'll take each as they come.    While we are cruising those hills and valleys; literally and not so literally, time rolls right on by and of course there are things we plan to do, hope to do and realize some we never quite did so we carry on, make note and try our best to plan to accomplish the unaccomplished, or think we might.

I am here now and making a vow to write in this beloved blog from where I might be at the time, at least once a week!    I work best under pressure so this sounds like a solid possibility!
Hang in there, life keeps happening so lots to share!
'Til then! 



Friday, October 14, 2016

What's the Prognosis? Dr. Who?

Filling out the form full of questions about my medical history, including "what is your ultrasound for", I hesitate.    I'm not completely sure what I'm there for.    Even going over the list of upcoming appointments I am a little unsure whether this ties into one of the other appt.'s or what!

Not long and I am just about finished filling out the questions and the Ultrasound Tech calls me in.    When she asks me my doctor's name I give her the name of my family doctor and she says, Oh, it's not Dr. F?  
"Oh, oh yes, from Peterborough.", I reply, "That's him, that's why I'm here!"!   We both laugh.   On the sheet I had written 'chest' where they ask what the ultrasound is for; another spot under observation. I followed "chest" with a question mark because I simply wasn't sure which follow-up this was!  This time last year I had gone under the knife for a benign tumour in my neck; Oct. 1st and this was THAT follow up before my next follow up appointment with the specialist!

Well now I know, July/August  and Oct. to Dec. I have enough Dr. visits to make ME question why I'm Here or there, when at other times I have felt certain the Dr.'s might be questioning my arrival, though they have assured me otherwise!




Saturday, October 1, 2016

A Mother's Daughter.

Tonight while visiting my parents, there was that moment when my Mom gently tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear.   It stayed with me as I walked to my car.
That moment you (again) realize just how precious she is to you and you are to her.   I hope my own daughter realizes that's exactly how it is.   Daughters or sons, your dad or your mom.

Thursday, September 29, 2016

Losing My Head

Sorting out the first item of intended business I then followed up with the second item on my intended agenda while at the pharmacy.   The second a little more complicated in sharing my confusion with regards to a received message from my doctor's office.   The pharmacist, very patient with me in trying to make all points understood and then make summary of where the problem lay.   I am grateful to have been understood, thank the pharmacist, tell her to take care and head for the parking lot.
She calls out, "Were you going to wait for that?", meaning the "first item of intended business".  
I turn and come back.

"Oh, yes, I am going to wait!", I say.
I prepare to sit and wait, then turn back once again, "Can you imagine if we actually had to remember to attach our heads?".  
We both laugh.   I think to myself, it's hard enough on a good day but; seriously, no laughing matter considering the "other" days!!!

Bibbity, Bobbity, Boobs please!

Apparently my Fairy Godmother never appeared, no bibbity bobbity here, never to grant those wishes I may have lust for in my youth, and perh...