Monday, October 28, 2013

So many Stories to tell.

This morning my day began with a visit to the vets with my sweet little buddy Dash; our Daschund/terrier 4 year old.   A routine visit for his annual rabies shot.   While there met a number of beautiful little friends including a fellow Daschund/Golden Retriever mix, she was so adorable!  She had a beautiful silken black coat, short legs and the face of a lab or retriever.   Many interesting breeds of dogs and then a little kitten, whose new friend had found him under their cottage while still very very young.  I chatted with the lady who accompanied Pumpkin, an adorable little orange/marmalade tabby who also happened to be a Polydactyl; cat with extra toes.   A real cutie.

In chatting with this lady she talked about bringing her kitten home and while that was a happy moment, sadly just days following she lost her other cat whom had been with them 17 years.   A bitter sweet time for her family.   She began speaking of the arrival of that cat at a time when her husband was going through a very difficult medical recovery and that cat became a source of great company and comfort for him and really helped pull him through.   She too had experienced some very difficult times and mentioned how much the cat had stayed with her all along.   Her story touched me and gave me thought for another project, or perhaps yes, a book.  I have many a story of beloved family critters, including Dash.
I do love to write and while I know I could use some guidelines or additional training in style and more accuracy in writing terms etc., I feel more and more compelled to write of "life" as I know it.
I can imagine myself sitting in Vet's offices, with permission of course, gathering stories of companions, life savers and rescues; of little critters and of humans.  Most of us get the bond that happens so very quickly with animals that come into our lives and to capture the heart in the many stories and the trust and love that grows between our pets and ourselves is such a wonderful chapter in our lives. The desire to capture such stories in this genre and of human interest, life stories just keeps getting stronger.

Another such idea has come to eat away at my mind after some time now.   This one may seem odd to some but to others will be completely understood.    I would very much like to speak with people who know of or sadly have been involved in creating roadside memorials.   Very recently I stopped to view one between Maple Grove and Courtice on hwy.#2.   I have passed by numerous times and admit to both curiousity and feeling sadness in the realization that what I am viewing is family and friends remembering and mourning the loss of a loved one.    Some see it as weird perhaps while others as myself understand it is just one way for many to deal with their loss and wanting that person to be remembered.   It's knowing there was a person, with a life and friends and they counted in so many ways in the lives of so many and you can't help but feel there is a fear of not remembering those passed and feeling the need to have a visual and physical remembrance.

I have one more project in mind and have acted upon it only this week but will tell you more later.   It too is in writing about something.   This I have done once before finding out the story about a long time display that surely has a very interesting background story.   One I have wondered about since I was very young.

Well the tales continue with every day.   For the last 20 months I've been sharing tales of my tango with cancer and always have tales of our critter friends and am thankful for the fodder available in living life!   Even in the worst of times trying to keep a sense of humour is helpful and writing about it allows many to share and realize we have much to relate with!   We're human!
Good night all.   :)   Sweet dreams!

Saturday, October 12, 2013

Flashing....and I WISH at times I COULD take my clothes off!

Happy Birthday to ME, October 6th and no need to tell the year it all began because as I delve into this particular blog topic you will most certainly be able to guess within very good proximity my birth year!!

Not so very long ago, a short few weeks before my recent birthday I was busy doing this n' that about the house when I realized what an immensely sweaty state I was in.   Not unusual when one is bustling about, cleaning, organizing, up and down stairs, hanging laundry but somehow this seemed a taad more profuse measure of sweat.   My bangs were wet, the hair at the nape of my neck, very well dampened and I hadn't ever noticed this happening during the usual 'run' of household tasks.

I let it go and one afternoon while doing a couple of small tasks outdoors, found myself in same state once again.   Hmmm, it was a warmish day, but I was dressed in light clothing and it wasn't the humid kind of warm we had our share of earlier in the season, so ceased my activity outdoors and took a shower for the second time that day.
 
When this has happened repeatedly over the next couple of weeks and even on slightly cool days, I begin to wonder if, maybe, just maybe something evil is about!  By evil, yes I speak of the dreaded "hot flashes" due to menopause!!!!!   Oh dear heavens!!!   I thought certain that perhaps I was going to be one of those who while did experience some of the quirks of said condition I was going to skip on through without the annoyance; for self and spouse, of the inner inferno that presents itself outwardly with a flushed glistening of ones self.

Of recently; the last two weeks, I have had a very bad cold and when I openly pondered the presence of such warming/sweat inducing moments recurring, those I confided in reassured me it was just the cold.   Well, the cold is all but gone now and those "recurring moments" continue to recur.   I  am it seems most assuredly in the throws of HOT FLASHES; a.k.a peri menopause.
 Yes, yes, there is a tower fan at the side of my bed; three feet away, with remote less than a foot from my pillow!    Our truck has old school roll down windows and no air; it's amazing how quickly I can send those windows into a frenzy of full descent!     While accompanied in the other vehicle with Air conditioning, it's nice that on a warmer day the second party can quickly have their window down at the push of a button to warm up as I flip the switch to enjoy a nice cool blast of icy cold on my side.   Winter we'll play the reverse roles I imagine!
Oh ya', I'm HOT all right and while I can't reduce layers in public there is a new reason to be thankful for draperies and window blinds here at home!!!!  

Friday, October 11, 2013

Onward, upward and YES I CAN!

It's been a while since my last post here, but have I been meaning for some time to do just that!    Here it is Thanks Giving weekend and I KNOW I have plenty to be thankful for and much to go on about, so forgive me if my thoughts and words "meander" in so many different directions!

To begin, this past Tuesday marks 3 months since I did my last injection of Interferon and began freeing my body of the potent stuff that one hopes has SOME affect on whether or not and or how long I have before a possible recurrence of melanoma!   I know in the meantime the best thing I can do is enjoy getting back to whatever my new "normal" is including simply feeling better.   Interferon simply sucks the life out of you and like winning a lottery, when you do feel good do what you can to take advantage of it.   It had at times reminded me of the Ikea commercial, when realizing "HEY I feel pretty good today"..."JOHN, start the car, start the car"...let's get out for a while!  While I continue to tire pretty easily,feel little by little I am building on the ability to do a little more for a greater length of time as the weeks pass.

What good came of having experienced Cancer first hand?   Seems odd maybe to think there could be any good, but it's true, there is plenty of good.
It's important once in a while to just S-L-O-W D-O-W-N and take that time when you would otherwise be bound to a clock, to a something you previously felt you just HAD to do, get to, respond to, rush to.
I used to be petrified of needles and have been known to pass out, but having done self injections for eleven months, HEY, piece of cake!
Yay for my family being so supportive, especially my Hubby-yep, as if I didn't already know, but what a guy!   He's been the best!
I've come to realize at times my biggest obstacle to achieving things at times, has been myself.   From here on I'm trying to override any little negative voices in my head that say I "CAN"T", and prove to myself I CAN!   A tall order when you've been so good at talking yourself down far too often!
The above mentioned is proven in that I have picked up the paint brush and take delight in setting up the easel once again!   Creativity is at an all time high!    I'm dabbling more than ever with photography including doing some photo sessions with a few friends, which are so much fun!

Very recently both my Dad and Hubby's Dad had some very difficult times medically and one hates to admit it but we were scared.   There it is right in front of you and just when you had to face your own mortality in a very sobering and frightening time, you are faced with your parents mortality.   Not that we don't thing about that at times especially as they are aging, but suddenly it's immediately clear how very real it is that one day they will no longer be here with us in person.  Of course they will always be a part of us and their memory carries on with us and in our children and their future.    Both are doing much better and they too will be very thankful for another holiday to celebrate with family.

I'm so ready to look on the brighter side of things and while some days find myself worrying so about the "what ifs" but know too well that doesn't help and will only "trap" me in a bubble of doom and gloom and as if any of us need to intentionally worry about more every day than we already do, just because we're human!   There is far too much to experience in going forward to allow that kind of thinking to happen.

I had my first day in a working role, just yesterday since last November and while I was so very dogged even after only 6 hours, it felt good to be a part of the working world again.   I'm getting there and know I just have to be patient with myself, that alone is a big challenge, because on a good day it's easy to forget just how much time it has taken to come this far.

I've stopped the cancer count as you will note on some blog entries, from here on there's no counting except to count myself VERY thankful to be here all the days ahead of me!

What's the Prognosis? Dr. Who?

Filling out the form full of questions about my medical history, including "what is your ultrasound for", I hesitate.    I'm n...