Wednesday, September 30, 2015

It went "Zip" when it moved, And "Bop" when it stopped And "Whirrr" when it stood still...

Dadunk, dadunk, Whirrr, whirrr, ding ding ding, ratatat, ratatat....

So much noise it's hard to focus mind wise, but I try, try to focus on crossing the street but I can't.   I try to think about the meadow, the daisies, the clover and long grass, but there's the jackhammer pounding away and then knocking.   I work and finally have found a way to be in control and simply concentrate on keeping my eyes closed, breath calmly and rhythmically and when I can take a full breath.

This MRI is quite different from my last and off to a slow start, or a restart more specifically!
My last MRI was aided by Lorazepam and under that lovely sedative I felt no fear or claustrophobic tendency at all.   

Today I am going head first into the machine; last time feet first.   In preparing to roll me in the technician has placed a umpire like mask over my face and a "shield-like" piece over my chest, gifted me a set of ear plugs and in I go!    Into the tiny tunnel.   Like a last chance to speak before a firing squad, when I hear "Are you o.k?", I jump at the opportunity to respond, "NO!", without hesitation!
I am rolled out, mask and chest piece removed and I sit up.   I apologize again and again and feel rather silly.   "So they really need this right?", I ask.    He confers, they; the surgeon and team do.   He is very patient with me and very understanding and shares that this happens often.   He does his job very well and I greatly appreciate the care he takes in putting patients at ease.   I take a few more breaths, we chat a little about the procedure, fears/feelings and then I put my game face on.   I also think about the many little ones who must have to endure this as well and how much more especially frightening it is likely to be for them.   The technician replaces the mask, the chest piece and he gently places the emergency ball in my hand, reminds me he is close by and rolls me back in.   He reminds me too, to go to my "Happy Place" and keep my eyes closed.   I give him the thumbs up.

Eyes closed I seek those places to go to within' my mind.   The meadow is always a favourite and Hubby is there too, we're having a picnic.   The noises don't bother me so much and when I can't concentrate on the meadow, they actually provide some direction to my imagination; a busy city street, construction site, birds, etc. .   Everything will be fine, 20 minutes to go with one very brief break to facilitate the dye injection.    
I CAN do this and I DID do it!    Mind over matter, but Lorazepam will be a friend in mind should we find ourselves here again!   :)

Have you never experienced an MRI, it goes a little like this...

Shazam, There's an App for that!

It's not easy slipping into the very role you knew as your own parents the "older" parents.   I don't know when it happens but it does and all of a sudden you're the ones continually being taught "new school" and watching the children's body language when they are trying their best not to "sigh" with disbelief or some extent of tiredness in the teaching an old parent new tricks.    Sometimes though it must be very self assuring for them when we are in awe of what new tech skills and savvy they have!

Our beloved girl kindly set us up with Netflix with her own account and we are becoming more and more "into" it and have given up our cable connections here!   Recently while I watched one particular new favourite program and my daughter with me, a song played in the background of a scene before us.  
"Go back, rewind that!", she shouted out, "I want to know the name of that song, I'll Shazam it!".

"You'll what it?", I asked.

"I'll Shazam it!", she says as she points her PHONE at the television. Instantly I see a blue screen appear with a "swirling" action happening and then,  SHAZAM, a song title appears and she's as happy as can be!

"Cool!", I say.  

She agrees, "I know right!?" .    Right I think to myself.

In the words of Gomer Pyle, "SHAZAM"!   Who'da' thunk!?

You're already there.

I LOVE YOU. You don't have to say I LOVE YOU to relay your love for someone.    If someone you are very close to , someone you've ...