Thursday, May 29, 2014

Ills and the Ill of paranoia!

I lay in bed, nearly all the day with the exception of 15-20 minutes here and there.   I haven't felt "ill" without the influence of a specific reason in a very long time.

As a cancer survivor sometimes the greatest struggle is in not becoming paranoid with "common ills" or pain one feels.   When back in February I accidentally slammed my right thumb in a dresser drawer and it felt like the worst pain EVER, I couldn't appreciate in that moment how wonderful it was to know the exact reason for said pain and nausea.   Funny the things you come to appreciate after the BIG C!

Today not feeling well and not having full knowledge of why and feeling the "spaz" in me consider calling about to see what "ills" are rampant of recent, I know that unwelcomed "Paranoia" is knocking on my door again!    Just when I felt I was doing great, surging ahead with all manner of living and working on the "going forward" bit!    O.K, one day of mindful paranoia and suspicion of ills present isn't so bad....I'll just change gears, or at least hush them once the Daughter comes home.   I'll drive both of us nuts and perhaps hubby too otherwise!

If I were a stove I'd be very hot, because every burner has something cooking-even the back burners are full, with plans, commitment to projects, and just life in general!   I'll  be fine and hope that tomorrow I will feel much better...I have to!   That quick run to Oshawa didn't happen today.  There is much to do and I'm looking forward to all of it!

I'm just feeling blah, have stayed very close to the "facility" and absolutely can't stand feeling ill!   Down with ills!

Keep Calm and Go Forth Feeling Better!   ;)

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