I BeLEAF, I BeLEAF!

 A great big unexpected event happened in my life this past year, so why shouldn't it happen for the Leafs too, but a positive event!   Don't get me wrong as I have had some wonderful new events present themselves in having had the unexpected happen and so for the Leafs I wish for a really big positive event long overdue!

I've really been excited about the Leafs being in the playoffs - anything to be excited for the Leafs!
The only difficulty I am finding is that even with a much shorter hockey season and playoff season, it seems almost agonizing every time I think "this is it" and ask, "...so who do they play after this?"...and to this point John has always answered, "Boston".   I usually respond with, "AGAIN!".  I know I know, I'm slowly catching on...the best of 7, The BEST of SEVEN!

Well tonight we dawned our jerseys and I've been reminiscing about one of two games we ever attended a few years ago...who knows maybe the only two we will ever attend at the prices...the tickets were given to us.   Whether you like hockey or not, like many events, seeing it live is a pretty exciting experience in any case!   The game is entertaining but if the action is a little lack luster, there is always the sport of people watching...that never gets dull!!!

Well I'm off to bed with a happy heart knowing the leafs won tonight's game, but full of anxiety as well knowing tomorrow night if they don't win their final game against Boston, oh let's not even go there and ride the blue wave!!!!  I really really would love to see the Stanley Cup held high by the men in blue!  Yip, yip, yippee!
Go Leafs Go!

A Friendly Giant On Any Stage.

Recently I read an article from Eagle.ca with regards to the lovely Bob Homme, a.k.a, the Friendly Giant.
Myself and many from my generation and later my own children, would have felt very much a part of a special group of company entering into the living room at the castle for a morning with Friendly, Jerome Giraffe, and Rusty the Rooster and perhaps a surprise guest each week as well.
Years ago while writing on a fairly regular basis for a local column, I had written a piece about Friendly, having spoken with and invited him to dinner at the child care setting I was working in and then later having the opportunity to meet with and talk with him.

 Imagine ones delight to find that just as he was such a pleasure to listen to on television he was every bit the gentle giant to meet in real life and you felt so much joy in just listening to him.

The Good, the Bad and the Lesson-all in a memory!

Yesterday and today I have noticed a Daddy and his little girl down at the parking lot working together to teach her how to ride a two wheeler.   It's a sweet visual and brings a flood of bittersweet thoughts to me.   I love watching and wonder if they realize what a magic time it really is for both of them and having said that recall my own children learning to ride a bike and on our street and in that very parking lot as well.   Over the years we have seen many a new cyclist meet there successful first ride right there and that goes for new drivers as well practicing parking skills and more.

I am transported back to yesteryear and it's a happy and sad moment realizing so much time has passed as well as so many memorable moments.   Of course with children the opposite happens as well.  You know when you're in a store or somewhere public and you hear a child crying or screaming; out of temper, and you just can't help but think, "Thank God it's not mine!"!   Memorable and long since forgotten.

Back to the lessons in the parking lot, as I look out the window and watch the Dad cautiously step back and the new rider confidently roll forward, I think wow that could easily be Ashley and her Daddy, but remember how she has just had her twentieth birthday!   It goes so quickly.   Next week will be Mother's Day and that in itself holds some special memories from once upon a few years ago so with "the lesson" and also Mother's day fast approaching here is a story from that time and the weather today is just as it was on that day of "The Lesson".   Ah the memories.

 

The Lesson…a memorable Mother’s Day  1999

Just when you feel at wits end with your children and the world feels a wreck, something wonderful happens and a flood of joy restores your weary soul!  This Mother’s joyful restoration came on Mother’s Day!

The past couple of weeks had been plagued with seemingly endless hours of homework, my eldest son (Intrepid) had been assigned or was trying to catch up on.  Dear Ol’ Mom pulled up the coaches seat; or perhaps the coaxer’s seat, to ensure he reached the end before dooms day.  Dooms day of course is the due date.

Our younger son (Kid Brother) bewildered with what to do without Intrepid available was not a happy camper.   His only happiness now would come in spurts of opportunities to poke at the sensitive nerve endings of his little sister(Little Miss).

While I concentrated on keeping Intrepid's attention focused on his school work, Hubby had his hands full trying to keep the peace between Kid Brother and Little Miss.   Not an easy job!!!

These two children are extremely stubborn at times, ‘er what I mean to say is equally strong willed.

Intrepid and I busy at the desk, Little Miss contentedly plays with her Barbies, and Kid Brother meanders through the house proclaiming his great boredom.  Hubby and I attempt to help him out by rhyming off various activities he might consider pursuing.  He takes on a stance of the unmovable and and shaking his head gives a resounding “NO”!   Then, knowing what I’m about to suggest may not be well received I do the unthinkable; it’s a very touchy subject.   We know better than to speak of it, but Hubby and I say in what is sure to be painful unison from Kid Brother’s point of view, “Why don’t you try riding your bike?” !   It’s too late, we can’t retract, but much to our delightful surprise he says,

“O.K.!” !  

Hubby says, “Great!”.  Coach and apprentice then look forward to a little one on one time.  …That’s when Little Miss, the ever present little sister overhears and she too wants to join them.  Following a thankfully brief “kerfuffle” the trio; Hubby, Kid Brother and Little Miss-Tagalong go out into the great outdoors.

Independently standing at driveway’s end where the street is a gentle slope, one foot on the peddle, one foot on the ground, the last moment of doubt melting away, he lifts his foot and he’s off!  Down the hill and still going as he steers round the corner!  The moment is magic having had many attempts prior to this day!

I crank the window full out expand my lungs and shout, “Way to go, you did it.  Yahoo, yes, yahoo!”.   Hubby is looking very pleased for the encouragement worked and for our son’s success.

Moments later Kid Brother bursts through the door sporting a smile almost too large for himself.  We share a victory hug and in a flash he has flown away on his bicycle once again.

Finally having completed his work, Intrepid joins Kid Brother outdoors.  With Kid Brother wrapped in a blanket of confidence they work together as a team; a touching moment, to provide Little Miss with the same!

It seemed in just the blink of an eye, with brotherly words of encouragement and physical support, Little Miss was soon in full flight on wheels.  From the peanut gallery Hubby and I cheer them all on; the newest cyclist and her coaches.

Isn’t it great when they show themselves just how much they really do care for each other.  More of that kind of support for each other and we know we’ll all be just fine.

As a mom, it’s great to know some days are just like that!  : )

Day 444- The "c" word -Ten Months and holding on! : )

The Long...

(Heavy)

                                                         and the short of this experience!  (Wispy light)


 I can't believe next week will bring me to the tenth month of my treatment with Interferon!   It's been such a looooong year and while happy to be alive to count these days, each day I wake with a horrible cloak of dread, negative thoughts, and almost always accompanied by a sense of physical ill and it really is a big job to force myself to crawl away from my bed.
Wednesday was a wonderful day, I felt pretty good, not bad, while Tuesday was a terrible day, I felt very ill and Thursday was awful,  much like Tuesday.  I know I just have to appreciate the good days and make as much of those  when they come along.

Friday I met with a friend who I met early on as we were both sent to our assigned chair in the chemo suite at Lakeridge.   We had begun our treatment plan at the exact time only later becoming a week apart in our Interferon when the oncologist booked her start on the maintenance after he had a week's holidays.   We both agree the extreme and ongoing headaches and severe fatigue are the worst of the side effects.  Tylenol is our new best friend!!  Our hair is similar in how much thinner it is and that we both went shorter, different enough in fact when looking for each other we walked right past each other.   We laughed!   In our defense it's been a couple of months since we've seen each other...like perhaps last fall!!!

It was good to compare what each of us has been feeling and know we could relate as far as side effects, including the emotional roller coaster one feels one is on at times.  We have the same oncologist and and just seem to hit it off with each other and make for good support for each other.  I'm not much of a texter, but that's how we tend to communicate so I'm gaining some new texting skills!  LOL!

I hope we will be able to share a future of NED; no evidence of disease, dodging any further melanoma bullets!   While having been a cancer patient really sucks, it has brought me new acquaintances, some positive new experineces and what I'm sure is a long term friendship and that's a positive!   We've both had a difficult year and for reasons beyond our own health as well, but we're here for each other and both are very lucky to have additional friends keeping us looking ahead and thinking positively!  I thank you all; you know who you are!  : )

I know there are days when I simply don't feel like being around anyone and I'm sure on those days people wouldn't want to be around me either!  

Hannibal and the Waxing!

Three weeks ago I mentioned needing to shave my legs; not that anyone sees them lately as I play somewhat of a hermit.    My daughter seemed almost excited to hear this and piped in that she could wax them.   "Great" I say, and then she adds I will need to continue growing the hair for another two weeks in order that we have a successful waxing!
I look at John and apologize, he laughs, I do as well.   We laugh at that point not knowing the terror that waxing brings to ones body.

I had been looking at John's eyebrows and as our daughter has pointed out on many occasion, yep they are quite unruly even for a man.   She plans to wax her father's brow's as  well.   The night she did my legs and was to do his brows, he went to bed before she arrived home.   Hmmmm...an escape plan?  I think maybe!

The evening of the event would be a second of firsts for me that day as my daughter had also dyed my hair; first professional dye job for me, just as I was deciding maybe I was ready to let the gray reign.  She was my wake up call that morning and in my groggy state I hear her telling me to get out of bed because I need to be at the salon for a noon appointment.   That went well, completely painless and I was rather pleased with the fresh new look she afforded me, including a tiny trim to the bangs and hair at the nape of my neck.

...And so evening falls and it is WAX TIME!   The wax pot is plugged in just shortly before my "waxer" arrives home, tear strips at the ready and spread sticks awaiting their first glide over grizzly grounds.   My leg hair is pretty long!   Earlier in the week I attended Yoga for the first time in several weeks and any time the pose/stretch included the raising of the legs I cringed at the thought of my pant legs racing back down to my thighs exposing my "grizzly" legs, but was very fortunate in that I do believe the grizzly state of my leg hair held my pant legs in their appropriate place!
The first round...Wax spread like butter upon my shins and then the tear strip; aptly named, then applied and smoothed over the wax, and then OMG, HOLY HELL GOODBYE GRIZZLY, that SMARTS!!!
I don't remember how many strips it took to complete the first leg but you can be assured I was already thinking about that second leg and the fact that while being nearly finished the first leg gave me no comfort, knowing there was a whole other leg!!!
I suggested we take a break; I needed to catch my breath.   I'm not sure at this point which I find more frightening, watching the episode of Hannibal playing out before us on the tv screen, or considering the fright of another episode of "Hair on the tear".   I wonder too if while this is also tiring for my daughter, hmmm, does she enjoy the opportunity to induce a little pain in pay back for moments of wronged I may have inflicted upon her?
We soon continue on and while I don't know how long I will possess the teeth clenched, eyes shut and wincing face, well after the painful deed is done, I survived and I thank my daughter!   I thank her?

Fun, fun fun....the real kind please!

Here I am, it's March almost April and this whole adventure began just over a year ago!   The adventure, Melanoma!  Of course in the routine testing following two surgeries; SLN and SLND, there were also a Bone Scan, CT Scan, MRI and Pelvic ultrasounds.  

As if melanoma wasn't enough...the surgeries, the chemo and one year of self injections three nights a week; now eight months in, I've had some additional surprises challenge my strength even further!

You really don't know how strong you are until you are tested and presented with the choice to fight or lay down and let the obstacles rule!   No way am I willing to just lie down and these things rule me!

First the melanoma and after a number of months have become used to the routine of doctors appointments, various meds and yes the injections and their array of side effects!

Up next, just days following a follow up to a mammogram and ultrasound for skin changes in one breast, found a lump in the opposite breast.   Scaaaarrrry!   The lump was not one I really had to be certain was there when looking in the mirror it was visually very apparent.   An additional follow up to this is scheduled for June.

Add to all the fun of the above, the onslaught of a very unscheduled peri menopause event!   Fifteen days later the event stops; for now!!!!   I am sure some of what I am feeling these last few weeks has connection to that.   I am so weak and more tired than even the new usual tired from the effects of the Interferon!  Wow, if I could simply pick up a phone and call Mother Nature, I would be ranting like a,
a, well,  ....peri menopausal, stark raving, hormonal bitch!  What a sure fire way to have spoiled an evening out; first since October, not pleasant!   I had an appointment with my family doctor yes terday and it does seem this is the next stage in my post fifty adventure!  Yippee, one more unexpected twist to this crazy year I've had! Oh well I can only imagine how fantastic this next year is sure to be in light of everything I have already gone through!!!
Here's looking to "fun" adventures ahead!   Like REAL fun!

Eew, Hair in the bathtub! Feb. 2013

If you've ever been the lucky one left to clear human hair from the tub drain, then you know just how disgustingly gross that is!  A tangle of hair covered in soapy slime is a sure fire recipe for gagging!

Recently my daughter asked if I'd mind helping her to clean her hair extensions and I was happy to!  Entering into the bathroom the view afforded me looked more like a scene from Disclosure with Demi Moores near final scene than "salon like" activity about to take place!
Hanging all along the edge of the bathtub long tresses of hair that could have belonged to someone submerged in the depths of the tub.   I've never been so thankful to know those tresses were extensions and not actually attached to a person's scalp.

Ashley had had her hair cut to just above her shoulders but within a couple of weeks was missing her former longer locks.  Her solution was easy then, just purchase some good quality extensions.

...And there I was, adding conditioner to each strand of extension, making sure every hair; which happens to be real hair, benefits from a full treatment.

First glance upon the task at hand sent shivers down my spine - a "hair raising" experience!  From here on of course it's just a "normal" grooming experience.
Hair's to that!

Dishing out a new direction! Happy New Year!

Well, Happy New Year.   I am using my good china every day now and while it would seem that was a New Year's resolution, it was not.  This may sound corny, but like Mary Poppin's can't ignore the "winds of change"!   ...Oh those winds have been stirring things up a lot this year and some changes have not been so good while others are rather refreshing and inspiring!
Back in the fall I simply had an epiphany and wondered why do I not use my china more, especially when it is stored in the bottom of the buffet and quite a chore to get out for those few special occasions?   That very moment I rearranged my kitchen cupboards, moved the corelle to storage in the basement and filled my cupboards with collected pieces to build on what was started from my Grandmother Rowden's dishes; divided among us, and a complete set from John's Grandmother Nevin.   I love them both and blend both sets at our table and they look great together.
I did keep a small few pieces of Corelle next to the microwave for heating purposes, but once the microwave is "toast" we will go back to a toaster oven.

Yes, events of the last year; health related, did influence my decision to use the china and enjoy it daily!   Cliche perhaps but it's true that we don't know what comes next so that was just one thing I felt I really wanted to change.   I am changed and now too are my cupboards!
Happy New Year to you and may it be a glorious one!

In the ring and battling it out.

It's been a little while since I have post anything and am now in  my 5th month of maintenance with the Interferon-Intron Apha 2b.
I recently FINALLY saw the Dermatologist which went well and that right after having had the "mole mapping" photos done through the hospital! Well that was interesting! The photographer and volunteer had me feeling very much at ease in no time! While with the Dermatologist I did have one mole removed from the back of my leg and learned too that if there is hair growing from a mole that is a good sign, as a rule hair will not grow where there is melanoma. I haven't heard back on that one but haven't been too worried about it as the Derm didn't seem concerned at all and I think took it off for my peace of mind. I will return in six months.
Overall in this process I thought I wasn't doing too badly and did return to work but that really didn't go so well; one week and three days. Co-workers had tried to convince me to stay off, but financially I felt I needed to return and also in feeling like so much has changed I felt I needed to try, thinking somehow I might feel more of a "normal me" in getting back into the swing of things. 
Headaches here and there, appetite is so-so; eating very small portions, fatigue...well, ongoing and always but the hardest thing to deal with is the emotional fragility I have been feeling. What a roller coaster and it seems it changes without warning.
I don't like the way I've been feeling at all, it scares me and waking up in the morning is not a pleasant time; though the alternative is not at all a pleasant thought either. It's a fight every morning just getting past the "physically ill" feeling that takes over as I enter into awakedness! Not to worry though upon "crashing down" recently was in touch with my family doctor and also the social worker I have had in my corner since  the Induction phase of the treatment. I saw my oncologist for my bi-monthly checkup last week and a follow up with the social worker as well. I also had a follow up my family doctor. 
For others out there, yes it can be difficult to share that you are feeling what may be depression, but during an Ultrasound last spring the tech shared her experience with her brother who had been on Interferon and advised me to be aware of feelings of depression; it is a listed possible side effect, and not to wait to talk with someone and if needed antidepressants can help. I'll admit to being a little worried about taking such meds, but know with my "team"; oncologist, social worker, family doctor, I can withdraw gradually once treatment is complete and have a great deal of support.  The antidepressants at this point are taking a lot out of me; I sleep a lot, and have no ambition at all and there is nauseasness and extreme fatigue  .   I know it is that my body is adjusting and the oncologist did say it could take from ten days to 4 weeks before I am feeling really good.   The social worker will be doing frequent follow up with me.
I'm working hard at staying in the ring with this fight! I'll just have to be patient with myself This has been a very difficult period for me this last month or so, but I hope I can work through it and celebrate like there was no tomorrow when I complete the run!
Still fighting the battle!  I've lost count of the rounds and another round straight ahead.

Be good to yourself.

Part 1 Getting the Skinny on my skin!!!

Photo Cd in hand and ready to share...o.k, with a Dermatologist ONLY, I finally have my appointment with the Dermatologist today!   I'm almost giddy with excitement, well perhaps not quite, but this appointment was made months ago and apparently that's the way it goes.

One week ago I had an appointment with a photographer at Lakeridge Health, for a "Mole Mapping" session!   Hmmm sounds intriguing at least doesn't it?   Not your "Glam Shots" kind of session but as important in relation to what's been happening in my life as the usual photo shoot is to the resume of an actor or celebrity.     It wasn't so bad and surprisingly didn't find myself at all nervous once in there.   There was the photographer and a hospital volunteer who was pretty cute in her manner and had a great sense of humour.   I think looking back, that the photographer was more nervous than I.   He was a gentleman and explained everything from the get-go.   My Oncologist will have a cd for his records and I will have mine.  

From the photos my dermatologist can view each mole and then exam them in their actual location on my person, assess and from here we will both make note and compare any future changes with these lovely little spots.   I have one which may raise some level of concern and a possible second one that she too may feel the same about, but we will soon know.   I know all too well, even if there is anything to be concerned about I won't necessarily know today but will have to wait a couple of weeks!   I don't think I will ever get used to the waiting!

I've been to this dermatologist before but the nature of this visit is very different than my last visit;  so many changes and in what seems like a very short time period.
The story continues...stay tuned!   : )

Gathering topics and ramblings of late ...to return soon!

I haven't written in a couple of weeks now, but DO have many a thought filling my head so will get back in the next couple of days!   There is much happening, and plenty for me to ramble on about, though I hope it doesn't come across as rambling!?  
I know there are times as one/I, roll into a subject/conversation and one thought leads to another, leads to another and yet another!  One certainly does not mean to but in the excitement, amazement or simple pondering of initial topic of conversation, it happens!
Having noted this I shall do my best in delivering in a non-rambling fashion!
See you soon!

xo