Happy For the Unimagined.

Keeping tabs on aches and pains occurring since before Christmas and another since shortly thereafter, I finally decided to see my physician for the sake of putting any fears at ease.   If you have read any of my blog, particularly from 2012 you will know my history with the BIG C...oh, not the television series; which I miss greatly, but the big C that is Cancer.   Come February 15th it will be 3 years since the day of diagnosis; I remember it ever so clearly.

At this point in time for the most part it is all behind me and I enjoy looking forward.   Every so often like recently there are pains or something I can't ignore and mentally monitor in working to assure myself it is nothing!    Of course you can't help but worry about recurrence of the Big C and as you grow farther away from the initial diagnosis, surgeries and treatments you think about it less; or try to, because your life goes on!   When you can imagine so much, a great imagination is at times not such a great thing!

It's hard to imagine how grateful one can be in being told it's probably arthritis and with the shoulder, quite likely muscular and involving your rotator cuff, in comparison to hearing the alternative one imagines.  It will never be far from my thoughts when I sense something feels off, but today and for this round while I could whine about the pains I am feeling happy it's everything I DIDN'T imagine it to be.

A New Calendar Year! ...Oh the things I could do!!!!

The ringing in of a new year is cause for reflection of all that has taken place over the course of the last year and it's then too you look ahead and wonder what the year ahead may bring!  We just never know what we will have the chance to do in life, how much time we get  and of course a round with cancer really makes you look at the BIG picture and wonder about those things even more. You aren't only wondering what might come in the form of fate, etc., but what CAN you take on, what goals do you have, what do you WANT to accomplish?

There is unfortunately always a little hint of fear of a cancer recurrence weighing on my mind so the lengthy list I have, my "Living List" beckons to be fulfilled!    New employment roles
as well as volunteer and hopefully some travel, theatre perhaps, fun with friends, but the main goal is simply to try to take one day at a time and do some of those things that will be great memories and feel like great accomplishments as well!   Hmmmm, write a book, take a clowning course, do my level 3 ASL, go on a trip, find a new job, singing, so many possibilities!
Hello new calendar indeed! Happy New Year!

A Cool Thing to Do!

Reading a post earlier when someone was talking about "a cool thing to do" upon turning 40 and wondering what they might do when turning 50.   I found myself trying to remember something cool I had done when turning 50.  One of the cool things I did for my fiftieth was to be the recipient of a lovely surprise party a few lovely friends made happen; one of them nearly getting caught in making it all happen!   If they read this they and the other's creating the event will remember that!  It really was lovely!

 I recall I must have been close to 40 when I finally took the big step of auditioning for a role in local theatre, now that was cooooool!   On turning 30....well I was happy to be expecting our third; and last, child and low and behold our first and only daughter.   Her brothers were tickled too!

Back to what I did when turning 50, well that really was QUITE the year but I do remember now....I fought cancer and BEAT IT!!!   Now THAT's COOL I say!   ;)

The "Tim Bits" of Life

I've recently heard rumblings about Tim Horton's in the rippling affects of the Burger King takeover of our beloved Canadian "Timmy's", that suggest they plan to discontinue the creation of Tim Bits; those yummy little donut holes welcome at any gathering and especially endeared by children everywhere!

Hoax or otherwise one just keeps hearing about it.   I wonder how many of you in fearing this true added "Tim Bits" to your Christmas wish list.  If it is true we will miss those little balls of dough, but if you're acquainted with other fine coffee shops that make donuts then you'll be o.k. .   It's well worth the drive to get the cadillac of donut holes at Dooher's in Campbellford, not to mention the other decadently tasty treats available; ordering ahead is recommended.

Doesn't this just seem symbolic of life and how all too often the little or especially lovely
 things we often take for granted suddenly disappear from our lives.  The sometimes cruel hand of change, like snatching a shiny new toy from an adoring child, comes along and "changes" everything. This year and of course over the years it seems any changes of that year are revisited as we gather with friends and family over the holidays.   Life is change but sometimes it's difficult to accept some of the changes, especially when it comes to the heart and all we have held dear in our lives.

What "Little Things" or "Lovelies" do you long for and perhaps are reminded of in sharing holiday memories?   Treats from a favourite general store; we used to rejoice in gathering pop bottles from the shed to cash in for penny candy such as marshmallow strawberries and bananas, licorice babies, and more!  Many are at this time of year sure to be reminiscing about grandparents, or your parents, siblings etc., be it a time together or something they did that was memorably amazing, humorous, or heartwarming.  In our family we are reminded of one particular Aunt and Uncle no longer with us, of Grandparents and many others not here to join us in our celebrations.

I wish you many more wonderful "little things" in life and hope you are surrounded by many "lovelies" you are making memories with!   

We only lived in Garden Hill for one year but there are so many great memories from there.   This photo taken on Christmas Eve at Garden Hill 1971.

About Those Little Pauses...and Just a Few Kind Words.

This woman looks to us and asks if we would like to move ahead of her just as the woman who just whisked past her had; in a hurry to place her order.   This kind woman; as told by her beautiful accent, is originally from Brazil and moved to Canada 13 years ago.  We're at Tim Horton's to purchase a couple of gift cards.   The "whisking" woman was ahead of us in line and looked to the other cash register when she realizes it is available to place her order.    The lovely woman with the accent had actually apologized as she suddenly realized she was perhaps taking longer than she should in the placing of her order.   She was traveling with her mother and young daughter; approx. 10 -12, and we were behind her.   We weren't in any hurry and then while waiting began to talk with her.    She and her family were heading to Ottawa to see the sights.
In speaking with each other she then tilted her head to one side, smiling and said to me, "You remind me very much of a friend of mine.", then turned to her daughter and without saying anything her daughter said, "I know who you mean!" and said a name but I didn't catch it and her mother agreed and they both smiled. She then said, "Sadly she isn't with us any longer, but oh you have the same smile, you're so like her, so sweet.".
In just a few moments, a little pause of sorts, a few kind words and patience afforded us the chance to make someones long and tiring road trip a little more bearable as well as adding additional travel conversation between them and a christmas memory.    Stress averted and kindness shared.  Something to learn from if we allow it to teach us.

Teenage Palpitations! ...And They Call it Puppy Love!

Well, one of those moments I have day dreamed about in my younger years has actually come to pass!   LOL, yes, it's true while I met and married the man I love who fills my heart there was another (young) man who made my heart swoon and whom I am certain I daydreamed of quite often as a (young) girl...Donny Osmond!    I recently met Donny and his beautiful sister Marie Osmond!   While a very brief few moments, it REALLY happened!  

It seemed a little surreal just viewing this dynamic duo from my seat as the Princes of Wales Theatre, as opposed to viewing them from the cozy comfort of my then living room at home way back in the 1970's on the new Sony Trinitron!    I owe the live experience to my In-Laws, who in seeking out a birthday gift for me back in October thought this was the ticket!    In presenting my gift my Mother-in-Law was rather concerned worrying the "ticket" may not be the thriller now it once would have been!   Well she needn't worry, though at first it didn't really seem possible or exciting because it just couldn't be, could it ...that I was going to SEE in person this gentleman who; he and all of his family, I crushed on so!   Initially I thought I would take my sister with me; also a fan, but when she felt she couldn't my darling Hubby jumped in; an evening out and a stay in the city.

The evening was fabulous!   They sure do put on a great show, both old and new material in the songs sang, photos and video shared and of course it was a Christmas show so helped get us into the spirit and oh the memories it brought back!    It was a little emotional too when finding yourself and all those around you singing along to the songs, word for word and with as much enthusiasm as you did as a young teen completely smitten with Donny (or Marie) and crushing hard!   Hubby was surprisingly enjoying it all as well; minus the "crushing" or word for word affect!   We both enjoyed it so much and the connection these two have with their audiences and make with their audience is so heartwarming.

Following the show we went 'round the corner to the backstage entrance; a little side street, where indeed the security fellow assured us they would be coming out and take a moment or two; thank heaven's to meet and greet everyone!    Hubby smiled and waited at the side of the building waving for me to go on ahead and not miss out!    I have to admit I was shaking slightly and the sometimes achy "old" feeling of my 50ish body instantly gave way to the dizzying internal feeling of being a teen at a much desired pop stars concert!    I look around me to see about 20 teens gathered; 40-60, immediately in the back stage corridor; not much room!  I notice two other teens, one actually about 19 and one in her 70's!   One fan in front of me began telling stories of seeing the Bay City Rollers and I caught myself excitedly responding with, "Exhibition Grounds!", she laughed and nodded and we both laughed in that we both were there and about almost falling from our seats in the stands; not made for standing on!    Another security fellow; working closely for Donny and Marie, steps up to the rail and in his most serious "security guy" face says, "We are going to be bringing them through very quickly and there are to be no photographs, you won't likely have time for autographs and they have a very tight schedule!"!

Oh I'm shaky and then....OMG, Donny emerges into the street and oh my that SMiLe there it ...there he is!   He's beautiful!   LOL, I am 9 years old again; that's when I sent them a photo of me playing the drums!    He touches hands, accepts booklets to sign and suddenly takes mine, "Merry Christmas Donny!", he looks right at me, "Merry Christmas", and in handing back my book touches my hand.   He has touched my hand, the "girl" next to me and I giggle and smile, a long awaited moment fulfilled!     Donny continues to his ride waiting and is quickly ushered to the care, but a young lady darts out AND gets a great selfie with him and then he is gone!   When I  suddenly feel the onset of (very strong) "JEALOUS", I remind myself what a lovely few moments I was just given.  I already have more than most to be so grateful for.
Marie comes out moments after Donny has left and she is so lovely; as beautiful as "Seen on TV" and in her personality!    She talks with everyone and I wish her a Merry Christmas and she returns the sentiment and then she is signing books, sharing photos from her cell phone and then she too is whisked away!    BIG Smiles as I go 'round the corner to return to my hubby and give him a big hug and he smiles back and says, "You won't want to wash that hand tonight will you!", and I say "No" and laugh.   Another great moment for 2014!   We take each others hand and head back to the hotel.

Recognizing the songs your heart sings!

Songs are far more powerful than one can imagine...until of course it's power is realized in our being transformed to a time long past.  A Song/music  finds our emotions quickly brought to life and with those emotions a feeling you think you had outgrown.    Oh music how I love thee and thank you for not ever forgetting the delight song brings to ones heart, even when it has grown to a distant age!

Refreshing Little Pauses

Sometimes we are stopped and unexpectedly our rush to complete a task, get to our destination or carry out our daily routine is thrown off course.    It might only be a matter of a very few short moments; in this case 3 minutes, but we are not pleased and rather impatient about it despite it's briefness!
It is not an unusual occurrence but when it presents itself in an unusual manner it is at first most annoying to us.     In this instance though I was not at all annoyed since it has become "usual" I have chosen rather to embrace it.

For several months as we travel east of Port Hope or travel west to Port Hope on highway 2 we have encountered a delay at the Hunco Farm bridge presently and still under construction.   I'll admit in coming to the bridge the first couple of encounters during this transition I found the delay somewhat inconvenient and time stealing, but after a number of travels back and forth not so much.  Now I rather look forward to and enjoy the delay or shall I say "Pause", a most pleasant pause and with camera in hand it is opportunity to embrace and enjoy!    I've taken several photos almost always as I head west returning home from points east.    I rather enjoy the scenery/backdrop from that vantage point.   Yesterday as we were stopped at the light I couldn't help but notice the person in line behind me in traffic produced a newspaper and embraced the chance to catch up on the news while stopped for those 3 minutes.  

This bridge reconstruction has for some of us become a welcome pause in our day, much in my mind like those at say Glenora; near Picton, waiting their turn to board the ferry.   The Glenora ferry is but a 2 minute ride across but those two minutes afford a calm reprieve from ones possibly demanding day and some great photo opps.

These little pauses we come to are a lesson in ones outlook in life ...grumble and perhaps be agitatedly impatient in what presents itself or embrace the positive in it and go happily on with a new and refreshed outlook!
Pause.
 

How much wood?...today's giggle!

I was heading out to Gilmer's and called up to my daughter, "I'm going out to get some wood!", I hear , "Bahahaha, o.k!"!

   :D

When you laugh like that!!!

We've all heard it said, "laughter is the best medicine" and I'm hoping each and every one of you will have experienced just that!     Not that laughter will mend bones, or cure the common cold; though it may induce a coughing fit,  nor will it cure cancer or other diseases, but it can help lift ones spirit and guide ones outlook in dealing with just such ills.

Haven't we all been there before, feeling so ill and completely drained of all our energy, or just so down, feeling the world is a massive weight of woe upon our shoulders?     When we have fallen into such depths of blues or are struggling so we are often pulled from it by surprise.   It often comes in the form of a caring friend or a loved one who knows us perhaps even better than we know ourselves and manages catching us off guard in saying something most ridiculous but maintaining a straight face until we catch it and share the realization of the humour shared!    Oh and when it happens you and the laughter inducing companion feel the weight lifted, both your faces light up, laughter fills the air and your bellies hurt from said laughter and maybe you even let out a snort or two!    While you haven't been cured, the situation remains or it's only a brief reprieve, it's equal to the most effective prescription ever written!    Laughter is good, it feels good and IS good for you!  
The following from the Mayo Clinic...
http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-living/stress-management/in-depth/stress-relief/art-20044456

We should take laughter more seriously, because it has much to offer us in our well being.   Almost three years ago when diagnosed with cancer, laughter was a very necessary daily dose as important as and even more important than my daily dose of vitamins perhaps!

Go on LOL, a.k.a laugh out loud, we love it when you laugh like that and contagious laughter is the best kind!

The Big Reveal

Everything off!

With a diagnosis of Melanoma it doesn't take long to realize just how important it is to be "checked out", scanned, looked at  from head to toe and up close!     You have to pay attention to your skin and any changes that may have or may be taking place.   I'll admit, as I have again and again to the dermatologist, the surgeon, the oncologist and my family doctor that in all of this "checking" and the necessity of doing so I can at times be just a tad paranoid with the possibility of finding something!

In the process of all tests and also treatment there was the photo session in making note of specific skin markings/spots to be recorded and viewed at later visits with the dermatologist in comparing for any changes as time rolls on, but even then one is permitted the coverage allowance of bra and panties and you are relieved for that allowance.

In my Derm's office it takes a very short time with first the assistant; who also asks a few questions,  and then with Dr. G; my dermatologist, to do a thorough going over.   Drum roll please ...and then they concur, everything seems to be fine   Yay, one step closer to the that five year NED marker; no evidence of disease.    As of next June I will be three years NED!

 Driving home I count my blessings once again and even the appointment card reads rather hopeful with the date of the next visit in May, springtime.

Baring it all is just one more step in saving my life from Melanoma, and that's just how I roll now!