Monday, April 23, 2012

Day 67-The "c" word - a Penguins fan

I thought with the news of "your post surgery tests are all clear", that was it.   Finish physical mending and back to work you'll go.    N'uh-uh...that's not quite how it's feeling.

I'm more emotional than a child having for the first time experienced the loss of a pet, or a grown man having watched his fave hockey team's season go down in Flames...pardon the pun Penguins fans!  ...yes, that emotional.

It's like what I expect I should have been feeling but instead, leading up to the surgery felt very little emotionally, like I was simply going through the motions of each days routine.   No real thoughts about what lie ahead.  I do hope this is a very short term phase.   I cry when I feel like it, though do work at keeping it in check, until I am afforded a little alone time to let it out.   I should be happy but think it's everything that has been kept in check or unconsciously suppressed, as well I can't help but feel uncertain even yet about what lay ahead, which is just the way it is in anyone's life on a daily basis.   There is the realization though that now additional levels of uncertainty and fears have come into play.

All I can do is surround myself with positive thoughts, make plans to have a future of plans events and embrace all that is good and wonderful in life!   Sounds corny to some perhaps, but right now it's truly what I'm certain will get me past this point.   I can't fall apart every day.

I have the remainder of this week to recuperate both physically and mentally/emotionally...visit if you can, bring laughs and Merriment ( that DOES sound a tad corny eh!?), ...and if I cry I apologize in advance!

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