It's my 1 in 8 Saturday Shift. I must go to work. Before I have even left John is called out for road duty. I wonder will I see him when I return home.
Saturday means working with the younger set...the students and hearing of their "Good times" planned and those already having happened. My shift ends at 12:30 which could actually translate to 1 p.m., with tidying, a couple of phone calls returned from messages received and such.
I make it through the morning. I feel victorious today in having driven to work and home without tears. I stop at the Shopper's Drug Mart with the intention of buying a bag of Oreos, I feel a dunk fest coming on. I rarely buy cookies and today I buy four boxes; all on sale. It's a three alarm craving apparently!
I arrive home to be greeted by our lovely dog Dash, after a quick snack we crash on the sofa. We are in and out of a sleep state while the channel on the tv is showing the movie Sweet November. Honestly couldn't I have picked a sadder movie...I am thankful to miss the majority of it to sleep.
While outside walking with Dash sometime later John finds us, he is driving a small sander. He departs again with the assurance we'll see him in about a half hour. It's more than an hour when he is finally home again.
Home again for no more than twenty five minutes I'm sure and just as we finish our chilli and buns he is called away again. He returns for the evening about two hours later and is needing sleep soon after his coming home this evening.
This night was to be such fun in joining so many wonderful lovelies at a friends home for a Family Day celebration and sure to include meeting many new friends! Wednesday unfortunately is so fresh still and while I want to have a little fun to grasp for a while, I do not wish to end up in a corner with well meaning people gathered round to make me feel better or to share in my sadness. The emotions take control when and where they so decide and I can't risk having them creep into the party and crash it! Had John not been on call and could have driven to the party with me, I might have gone and joined in if only for an hour and a half or so. Who knows what the emotional trigger might have been, but I know without any bit of doubt that those friends and even new acquaintances would be nothing less than supportive, understand and most caring. I almost feel guilty for not having gone.
Dash is good company, cookies and milk make for a great "fix" but parties missed are just that, parties missed and a longing to have fun and enjoy the company of people you have come to feel so at home with and yes, even feel they are part of your "rock"!
Saturday, February 25, 2012
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